The West Wing, Kitchen Knives And Blue Catering Plasters

"And I believe I'll use capital, lower-case, or Sanskrit, right up until the moment the Font Police cuff me and read me Miranda." -Josh Lyman, The West Wing

So how do we get from a belting quote from Josh in The West Wing, referring to being ticked off for using capital letters when responding to a entry on a fan forum about him, to cooking?

Well (and stay with me) …. one thing about cooking is your knives. A good set of knives to a budding cook are as precious/important as a good tool box is to someone who likes DIY (and apparently such people do exist). Years ago, working in the staff restaurant of the Reading Post Office depot on Caversham Road, I remember slicing tomatoes with a knife that had seen better days and proceeded to nearly lop the top of a finger off when the blade slipped. Being strangely squeamish when it comes to my own blood I nearly passed out – but all I really remember was the chef in the background saying ‘it ain’t sharp knives that cut you, it’s blunt ones’ as I tried to stay on my feet.

Of course, I’d rather he’d be telling someone where the first aid box was - but I'll let slide the fact that Chef had endangered the wellbeing of a novice 17 year old catering temp (who was simply trying to slice beef tomatoes as instructed) because, as the the blood flow was being stemmed by a kindly kitchen employee called Marge before the application of one of those funny blue plasters that you have in catering, he also shouted "You've learned a lesson son!". And indeed I had - good knives are important in the kitchen, apparently more so than having all your fingers. Thanks Chef.

Anyway, because I don’t have a massive budget and can’t really afford a set of Henckels Four Star or some hand forged Japanese blades made by Hattori Hanzo , I have over the years invested in couple of Sabatier classic and other half decent knives. However, recently I was rather taken with a swish set of discounted Sabatier ‘Stella’ knives in the homewares bit of TK MAX (of all places) and, having disciplined myself to ‘sharpen little but often’ they’re excellent.

But then I had the quandary of what to do with my other old, assorted yet still perfectly useful knives. And at this point is where The West Wing kicks in – the episode where the President gives his carving knife to Charlie, his personal aide, as part of a long tradition of passing on knives from father to son. President Bartlett has no sons, and Charlie has no parents – so thus he gives the knife to Charlie, who beforehand had been sent all across Washington to buy the President a new carving knife for thanksgiving. Now I have no kids (and have no intention having them), OXFAM won’t take knives (quite reasonable policy to, in the current social climate) and all the other foodies I know have got more knife blocks than casserole dishes. So, I’ve offered them ‘on loan’ to a bloke at work who is vaguely interested in affairs of the kitchen. Yeah, it's not exactly got the same spiritual/moral/emotional gravitas of getting an antique knife from the President of the USA - but they’re yours anyway Pete, so use them wisely.

Footnote – the big kicker in the West Wing scene is Charlie asking about the brand name on the knife – ‘PR’ (oh, the irony). Jed tells him they were made for his family by a Boston silversmith called Paul Revere. Turns out he was a bit of a hero/legend during the US revolution – and you can read about him here.

And with regard to Josh and the 'font police' there's more to come on that subject. I mean who can resist a free font download used primarily for Motorway sinage called "Transport Heavy"?

Madur Jaffrey, The Sweeny, Danny Baker & Being 'HD Ready'

They're The Sweeny Son - And They Haven't Had Any Dinner.....

Well, I've just had mine lads so not to worry. In fact it was a decent chicken and red lentil indian stew culled from Madhur Jaffrey's orginal Indian Cookery book



But considering it was first published/broadcast in 1982 when in many British kitchens a Chilli Con Carne was a daring adventure in terms of making 'foreign food', and your average supermarket herb and spice selection consisted of a jar of dried rosemary and some ground black pepper in a little plastic shaker, you come to realise it was minor foodie miracle that Madur was suddenly on screen waving clumps of fresh coriander leaves and extolling the virtues of grinding your own asian spices in pestle and mortar. Anyway, if you taking your first steps in exploring indian cookery you do worse than pick up a copy (it was republished in 1996 and second hand copies via Amazon appear to be still available) and get stuck in.

The said curry tonight was rapidly consumed in front of my new Sony Bravia LCD/HD-Ready/Future Proof/Digital switchover compliant blah blah telly whilst watching United do marginally better against Benfica than they did against the mighty Royals at the weekend. Living in Manchester means I allow myself to be glory seeking red or blue moon botherer whilst also celebrating my home town's successes because deep down I just like a bit of footy in my life - but not at the exclusion of all other cultural or social life. Heck, I love the whole North West so even the toffees, shakers, trotters and other funny nicknamed local teams within a 30 mile radius can feature in my affections depending on the circumstances.

I think the broadcasting genius that is Danny Baker summed it up when he tried to explain to his various disgrunteld media bosses that it's about football supporting - not the football itself-which is where the heart and soul of the game is - and that's how I feel about it. Danny would, I imagine, take the view that my extreme supporting promisecuity deserves a slap (I think he got sacked from the BBC for suggesting on air the same physical action should be dished out to a ref - so I'm probably safe) but he also pointed out that 'football is chaos' - so I'll embrace my contradictions in that very spirit.

Talking of cockneys, my other recent indulgence (beyond buying a ridiculously expensive TV) has been renting The Sweeny collection from my DVD club. If anyone thinks Life On Mars and its 70's retro style is entertaining you really must check out The Sweeny. It began in 1974 and was possibly the most explosive drama ever to hit UK screens. From the belting opening theme music - to the language, fisticuffs, drinking, sexism, racism and all round two fingers up to authority attitude - it's still a powerful body of work that goes far beyond just laughing at the clothes, cars and now legendary catchphrases. I thinks it's also shown on Granada Men & Motors sometimes (NB this fine channel has now been kicked off Freeview to make way for one of those terrible 'tax on the poor, thick, vunerable or just dead drunk' interactive quiz shows that are I read somewhere being investigated by Ofcom for being a rip-off). Still if you can your hands on a bit of Sweeny action then I thoroughly recommend you indulge. See, this blog's not all about food - so shut it you slag, get your knickers on and make me a cup of tea.

Perfect Basmati Rice Method?

Who-hoo!
Might have finally cracked the rice cooking 'problem' that has hounded me (and others I know) for ages. The quest for a method for cooking plain boiled rice that is neither too wet and sticky - nor burnt onto the base of the pan - and that works consistently with different volumes (and types) of long grain rice seems to be thus:

Rinse the rice with lots of cold water in a large bowl by swishing it around and take note of the very cloudy water that is caused by starch in the grains . Tip as much of the water out as possible and repeat the process - about 10 times seems to do the trick. You'll notice the water is a lot clearer (maybe not crystal but you don't want to be standing over the sink all day).

Drain the rinsed rice into a large sieve and leave it to rest suspended over the same bowl if it will fit, or over a mug or other receptacle to catch drips of water. Leave until as dry as possible (30 mins to an hour).

Place the dry, rinsed rice into a large pan that has a tight fitting lid. Add a good shake of salt and then add more cold water until rice is just covered.

Place the pan on the hob and quickly bring to the boil, then reduce the heat to very low and put the lid on. After 4-5 minutes remove from the heat altogether and leave to stand (with lid still on) for around 8-10 minutes.

Remove lid, spoon out and eat.

Note: This is based on using regular basmati rice - not 'easy cook' or pudding/paella/rissotto types. So far it's worked a treat with supermarket own and brand varieties- regardless of their own cooking suggestions - but obviously I cannot guarantee that it will work for you every time or with what you have in the cupboard. Still, anything that saves us from the hell that is Uncle Ben's 2 minute tear and ping pouches has to be worth a go.

Rick Stein's French Lamb, The Humble Haricot Bean & Lil Miss Sunshine

I’ve just got back from the cinema where we watched Little Miss Sunshine – a road trip movie about a dysfunctional family trying to drive 600 miles in an old VW van to make it to one of those very disturbing US beauty pageants for little girls. If you like films like Sideways, Happiness, and The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore etc. then you’ll probably like it. I couldn’t thinking that the character played by Greg Kinnear was written with William H Macy in mind, but asides that niggle the film has some genuine laugh out loud moments and a life affirming conclusion that isn’t too sentimental. So, 7/10 from me in case you care what I think. On the stove at the moment I’m trying a French lamb ragu cribbed from a recent re-run of Rick Stein’s French Odyssey. Rather than shoulder of lamb diced up I’m using some mutton on the bone I got from a halal butcher in Cheetham Hill which might mean cooking it for an extra half an hour – but in terms of flavour and value it will hopefully be worth the wait. You basically brown the lamb with some flour and remove, then fry a chopped onion and a couple of cloves of chopped garlic for a few minutes. Lob the lamb back in, add a squirt of tomato puree, some bay leaves and dried thyme, a third of a bottle of dry rose wine, salt & pepper and several fresh tomatoes skinned and de-seeded. Then add some stock (I’m using some of the chicken stock that I went on about in the previous post but an oxo would do I’m sure) and let the whole lot simmer on a very low heat for 1 ½ hours. It also involves haricot beans and of course Rick used ‘fresh’ cos the French have such things in their markets but I’ve had to use some that I soaked overnight and are now simmering themselves for an hour before I add them in. I think sometimes with some pulses that the tinned are the answer – I mean 8 hours soaking and then an hour simmering until they are edible? – Its only a haricot bean, not a flipping whole roast hog or something. But the upshot of this particular meal of course is finding what to do with the remaining rose wine – so a big glassful with a couple of ice cubes is on this occasion chef’s privilege. Yeah, I know it’s a school night – so sue me.

Thai Green Chicken, A Rant Against Supermarket Chicken And Decent (And Not So Decent) Blades

Keith’s Far Flung Floyd also provided tonight’s supper– eaten while watching the mighty Reading get their first away win of the season against the other Premship newbies Sheffield Utd . It was a ‘simple’ green chicken curry – which is simple once you’ve amassed all the gubbins and blended the paste in a basic liquidiser (usual suspects- lemon grass, onion, coriander leaf , garlic, ginger, green chilli but also a bit of ground cumin and, according to Keith, shrimp paste). Thing is, despite loving Thai and Asian cooking, me and the shrimp paste I bought from the excellent Wing Yip don’t get on, so I substituted shrimp paste with a bit of fish sauce . Anyway, I have come to conclusion that a) supermarket chicken breast portions are, frankly, insipid b) thighs and drumsticks are far more interesting and c) free range/organic portions taste better but costs a bloomin’ fortune when bought individually. So, my solution, armed with a new solid wood chopping board from those good people at Debenhams and a chef’s meat cleaver bought from a great shop in Manchester’s china town (£9.00 for the steel, £10 for the chopping board), is to buy a free range whole chicken from M&S for around £7.00 (it’s not just food you know…. Well, ok it is but isn’t it amazing how a million pound ad budget can seep into your psyche?) and then take a crash course in basic butchery. After ‘careful’ cutting had descended into brutal hacking, the overall result was two decent sized breast portions and about 500g of chicken ‘bits’ acquired from various joints. The bones, skin and remaining carcass (raw) went into a large pan to make a ‘white’ stock (with celery, leek, tomato, peppercorns, bay, onion, cloves and a bit of fresh parsley – brought to boil then simmered for about 2 hours – then strain, put in the fridge, freeze or whatever ), with the carved breasts and half the chicken debris hitting the freezer in plastic food bags. The other 250g of chicken was cut small, briefly browned in nut oil before the green curry paste, some chillies, fish sauce, brown sugar, 25mil of coconut milk and basil leaves were added – and after about 7 minutes of glasses fogging steam and stirring it was ready. Plain basmati rice was on the go as well, and it all came together just in time for the MOTD opening titles. Having, in a very Likely Lads way, tried to avoid hearing the football scores all day (including undertaking a potentially life threatening sprint across the lounge to grab the remote just after the BBC1 Saturday night news anchor said “and now…sport”) is was fantastic to tuck into a decent chicken Thai curry with a big glass of Cotes Du Rhone Villages and see the Mighty Royals win. And to all you Blades – it should have been 3.

Keith Floyd's Liver

Just finished stacking the dishwasher (another tetris effort - some of you know what that means I'm sure) after attempting two very disparate Keith Floyd recipes to use up leftovers from earlier in the week. First up was devils on horse back which can be found on BBC Food. I had half a tub of chicken livers in the fridge together with a few slices of dried cured bacon so the idea of combining the two with a bit of paprika (well, you were warned) and some cayenne pepper was worth a go for a starter. The result was a very tasty, rich and carnivorous snack with a nice dry kick complemented by the comforting buttered toast - highly recommended.

Then I turned to my recent purchase from Oxfam - a copy of Keith's Far Flung Floyd BBC book from 1993 that I picked up for £3.99. In it I found a Thai soup consisting of not much more than celery, soy sauce, cooked rice, prawns, fish sauce and water together with a bit of garlic and coriander to garnish. Having a tub of day old cooked basmatic rice in the fridge and half a bag of frozen king prawns kicking around and the scrag end of most of the other elements I gave it a go. However, the lack of heat (and stock) concerned me, so I lobbed in a spoonful of Indonesian chilli sambal (chopped red chillis in salty sauce from the excellent wing yip Chinese superstore in Manchester), a heaped teaspoon of powdered veggie stock and some chopped coriander. The result was a hot and sour rice slop, which was quite heavy going, but very filling (mind you, soup + rice is always going to be 'heavy' on the stomach). So, bits and pieces of food saved from the dustbin and made into a perfectly exceptable, interesting supper. And now dishwasher's on and there's a radio two documentary about Otis Redding floating out of my digital radio presented by that fine Wiganer Stuart Maconie - life could be worse.

And yes, Oxfam prices are going up.

Smoked Paprika, Spain & My First Post

Ahh, paprika - recently returned from a holiday in spain and this time around got seriosuly addicted to the stuff. It comes in sweet and hot variations - and if you can find the smoked variety then give that a whirl. There's more about the wonderful world of paprika here and no doubt it will crop up now and again in future posts.